Are you struggling with arguments in your relationship?

Does anger get in the way of discussions?

Do you long to improve your relationship and be happy?

How we aim to help improve relationships

Our story might well be like yours! We found ourselves arguing. Constantly. And worse, our arguments escalated, causing more hurt than before. We reached a tipping point where we were faced with a challenge: sort it out or go our separate ways. We chose to work on improving our relationship. It took time, effort and a lot of soul-searching, but the output is that we found some of the happiness that we had when we first dated, and new happiness based on a deeper understanding and appreciation of each other. Now, we fight less and we work together, we even enjoy time together. 


We are sharing our experience, insights into what happens when we argue and how we escaped this ongoing battle so that you too might first find relief and improve your relationship.

Image shows a Kintsugi, a once broken hand sculpture glued back together with gold. Used to illustrate reducing hurt in relationships. By Simon Lee, Unsplash.

Reduce Hurt

Hurt is so often caused by miscommunication. We know that by learning more about yourself and your partner, you can better control what you say and how you say it. This reduces the hurt during arguments and in every day situations. 

Two hands join together to make a heart in front of a golden setting sun. Used to illustrate the joy that can be found from improving relationships. Image by Mayur Gala, Unsplash.

Improve Relationships

Understanding how we each function has enabled us to improve our relationship. We recognise what triggers us in to arguments and are on a continual journey to understand how we can communicate better, reducing misunderstandings. 

Through a process of self-examination, we believe that you can identify what triggers you and then work towards reducing its impact on you. Through understanding why you are triggered, you can learn how to manage your instinctive responses.

What we are doing

We are working on a work book that: 

  • Tells a little of our story
  • Reveals what happens during arguments with our partner
  • Explains the concept of The Infinite Argument
  • Gives ideas for how you can break out of the Infinite Argument
  • Explains how anger occurs
  • Gives ideas for how you can learn to manage your anger
Working version of The Infinite Argument's cover page. It shows an infinite loop and the phrase "The Infinite Argument and how to fix it!".

What we can't do

We are working on material that is based on our experience. It cannot be relied upon to help fix every relationship. This comes with no guarantee!

We know that you can’t change someone else. However, we also know that you can change yourself and that change can be significant enough to encourage someone else to work on themself.

We can’t replace professional, personalised help. Our hope is that we encourage you to start your journey to an improved relationship and that you continue it with whatever help you need. We used professional counsellors and recommend their involvement. It might take a couple of attempts to find the right counsellor, but when you do, their support can truly help. 

In the UK, you can find support through: The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy

The Infinite Argument

In my own counselling sessions I explored what my triggers were – what made me react strongly in certain situations. I could not understand why my most painful arguments were with my wife. 

During contemplation, I created a concept that has helped us visualise and understand why our arguments left us hurting and even ignoring each other for days. 

We call this concept The Infinite Argument.

With it, we have explored ourselves and our relationship and now we better understand each other. We know the triggers that have resulted in so much pain over the years, and we have worked to reduce the quantity and severity of arguments. 

The Infinite Argument illustrates what happens when we argue with our partner. Learning to break free can help improve your relationship.

Are you ready to begin?

We are finalising the materials. We think that they are good, but we want to make sure! 


If you want to join us on a journey to improve your relationship and are interested in buying a copy of The Infinite Argument and How to Fix it, please send an email and we will update you when it’s ready. 

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About the Authors

Paul helps start up businesses. His wife works with a charity that supports young people.  

Together, they have been married for over 25 years and have experienced so many of life’s challenges and overcome them too. Having seen too many friends’ marriages breakdown, they wish to support and encourage relationships with their story.